At the Last Supper, Jesus prophetically told His Apostles and dearest friends, that they would all abandon Him, all scandalized by Jesus in His greatest hour of need. “This very night you will all fall away on account of me.” (St. Matthew 26:31) But Peter swore passionately to our Blessed Lord that he would never deny Him, proclaiming “Even if all fall away … even if I have to go to prison and die with you, I will never disown you!” (St Mark 14) Jesus looked directly at His beloved friend with sadness in his eyes and said, “I tell you Peter, before the rooster crows at daybreak, three times you will have denied me.” (St. Luke 22:34)
After Jesus’ arrest, Peter followed along at a safe distance, trying to be invisible while seeing and hearing everything. The last thing he wanted was to be called out as a “follower” of Jesus. However, try as he might, he couldn’t hide his thick Galilean accent. The crowd confronted Peter, “Surely your speech betrays you as one of His followers!” (St. Mt. 26: 73) Peter swore vehemently that he did not know this Jesus, indeed had never even met him. The mighty Peter was humiliated even by the words of a simple peasant girl. “This man too was with Him” she said, and Peter protested swearing again, “Woman, I know Him not!” (St. Luke 22: 56-57) His final betrayal came at the first light of a new day, and off in the distance the rooster cried out piercingly, “Betrayal Peter, betrayal!”
At that very moment, Jesus turned and looked on Peter from across the courtyard fire pit. Like a terrible flash of lightening, Peter remembered Jesus’s prophetic words, searing his heart like a red-hot branding iron. He turned and fled the scene of his betrayal, weeping bitterly. The mighty Cephas had been brought crashing down! Tradition tells us that from that moment, Peter wept bitterly every time he recalled his betrayal of our blessed Lord. So much so, that deep tracks were worn into his cheeks by the end of his life.
I have heard the rooster crow in my life. More than once. And I have wept bitterly, surely not as bitterly or as often as I should. And almost always, alone. I should have wept tears of sorrow much more than I have at this point in my life for all those I have betrayed and offended, especially my precious Lord. Those moments, those tears that have brought me to my pre-dawn reckonings are between my Lord Jesus and me, and those I have offended and still need to ask forgiveness from. I have denied my dearest Jesus in so many ways, and that old rooster may soon lose his voice reminding me of my many selfish transgressions! But like Saint Peter, l have repented on my knees, offering my sorrow and shame to my loving and forgiving Lord on the Cross. I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
What about you? Have you heard that rooster crowing in your life? Have you wept those bitter, cleansing tears of sorrow and repentance for the ones you’ve hurt and offended? If not, pull those spiritual ear plugs out of your ears so you can hear that beloved old rooster calling out your name. Go find some clear floor space in a quiet, isolated spot and hit your knees with a Crucifix in your hand. Let Jesus turn and look on you from across the fire pit. He knows you perfectly, loves you infinitely and intimately, and forgives you instantly. Pour out your heart and soul sincerely to Him. Only then can you tear out those bitter roots, truly begin to heal, and live again the life of freedom and hope that Jesus has called you to live.